tips for moms with 3+ kids

My 7-year old daughter loves to help me with everything… she is the oldest child and has 5 younger brothers and sisters.

(Dublin the cat)
We want her to have a normal childhood but she likes pretending to be a parent more, which is not always to the liking of her smaller siblings and the character being portrayed turns from a responsible parent into a short-tempered frustrated 7-year old whose domination is not being accepted.The good thing is my husband and I are always close by to guide her in her great adventures pretending to be a parent. Our guidance collides many an occasion with her views and opinions, which is pretty normal which leave her fuming, throwing a tantrum …. professionals say don’t worry the older child always wants to dominate ….. just make sure to set boundaries and praise the child’s positive efforts….

Here’s the part where I ask myself what was I thinking? One day after my daughter was envying me for doing a heavy washload, not a child-approved chore so naturally one she was more than willing to take on, I thought she needs something extra, something extra challenging, time-consuming, difficult….. and then it hit me …. she had even mentioned wanting one for over a year…. a cute little kitten…….. I thought to myself (how naiv was I?) it’s perfect… she could pick it out herself, take care of it herself, and learn to be gentle and respectful… cats have no mercy…. have someone to cuddle with and play with who knows how to appreciate her efforts… unlike her brothers and sisters who often want to be left alone and just try something out themselves (this part she never understands!)

So I called her over to my labtop one day after I had found the great humane society animal website.. where you can actually see pictures of all the animals up for adoption. There must have been at least 20 different kittens to choose from….it took quite awhile ….she always has a little difficulty making decisions for herself (not so much for others)… so it was good practice! She wasn’t sure went back and forth between a black, gray or orange cat…she was sure she didn’t want a white one. Also was determined, at first, to pick out a female cat, when I asked why, she said “Mama, only female cats can have babies and later I want a lot of cats”. Oh great I thought, trying not to show too much enthusiasm. She ended up narrowing it down to 2 female kittens, Shadow a black kitten (1st choice) and Alpine, which was an orange and cream colored kitten(2nd choice).

I explained to her then I would have to call the humane society to ask about when and how we could become the owner of the kitten. I called up in a good mood, hi my name is Heather Whiting …my daughter had seen a kitten on their website …. which one she asked… said Shadow.. yes she’s available for adoption the woman replied…. I inquired further about the conditions which apply to adopting a kitten…. OOPS Mistake….. this woman starting asking questions as if I was a potential criminal or terrorist…

1. Have to come to see the kittens and take a tour of the humane society…(thinking this could get complicated with all 8 of us and all the small children asked nicely if it would be possible that only my husband and daughter travel there… she replied normally all family members must sttend but she will ask her manager….leaves me abrupt on hold…replies after several minutes no exception can be mad … I should have just said Thankyou and hung the telephone up then, but no I had to fight for “Shadow”.

2. Said we all come…on to second condition…she asked me if I had a house… I said yes… she said ok.. then continued are you renting or owner? Ummm…renting or actually owner .. no I mean my parents own the house…. She replies you will need a written document allowing you to have the kitten in the house…. Oh, thank god my dad signed we were allowed to have a cat on our rental agreement… I replied confidently no problem my dad gave us that in writing…. she took a short breath…

3. Are you sure she asked…positive I said….she paused, sighed, and spoke the following sentence in an unsatisfied tone: You know even if you do have the confirmation that your allowed to have cats … we do normally ask for the landlord to also be present when adopting the cat and give his blessing…. That was it I was like you have got to be kidding me… We are talking about a kitten here… I mean this was really getting out of hand… 9 people have to travel and be approved to adopt one tiny single little kitten?

In shock and disbelief, especially after seeing their advertisments begging anyone to come and give their stray desperate animals a new home, I just said Ok thankyou we’ll just have to find another kitten for my daughter.

My husband even called back, not believing my story, and spoke with the same woman for another hour, revealing his past jobs, experiences, whatever she requested, and actually finally convinced her and the manager that he could come only with my oldest daughter, the rest of the family was free to stay at home….. oh great super I thought….. wrong again… my husband continued to explain to me the next 3 conditions:

1. They can both come to see the kitten, but the child has to prove she has a good relationship with the kitten to be able to adopt it (Who approves that one? Or is big brother watching over the humane society?)

2. The vetenarian would have to then look at the cat the next day (2nd appointment)

3. If the vetenarian should find something wrong with the cat (or maybe my daugher who knows? ha-ha-ha) the kitten may still not be released to my daughter (we’re talking about high security kittens here… don’t you forget that… not for a minute…)

So with my high security brain I decided to cancel the whole high security kitten adoption to avoid the high security disappointment my daughter may be in for……

Just ended up calling a random telephone number, after reading a “free kittens, potty trained” ad in the newspaper. Got lucky…2 left…even black ones…my daughter had to think about it for like 2 and a half minutes, wasn’t sure because they were male cats but decided like her brothers, boys are ok too!!!!